Online Dating Lies

It amazes me at how many people deny online dating  yet, there are millions of people occupying every online dating site you could think of. Things are changing people and it’s okay! There’s no longer a need to lie about meeting him or her at Wal-Mart when you really met on Okcupid or whichever Swipe Right app is out there!

Furthermore, stop lying to yourself about why you’re really online dating. Every single girl will tell you, “oh, my friend told me about it so I decided to check it out and see what this online dating thing is all about.” Really? First of all, a Google search is not your friend and you know exactly what it’s all about: You chat with complete strangers until you decide to meet one or more while hoping none of them are serial killers!

Also, “I’m too busy” or “I’m too new to town” to meet people in real life doesn’t quite do it either. There are literally people everywhere unless of course you live in a farming town with 10 people! If you are truly too busy, then you really shouldn’t be online dating because eventually, you’ll have to meet these people in real life and that requires time and commitment.

It’s okay to admit that you’re lonely, “shy” or rather scared of rejection just like everyone else online or that no one is approaching you in real life so you’re taking matters into your own hands! Bravery! Yesterday, a lady gave me an excuse I’ve heard too many times: There are no good people to date in my area. No, YOU are the problem! Either you’re too close-minded and shallow or all the “good people” are staying away from you with good reasons! There are “good people” everywhere! Even among ISIS, I’m sure you can find at least one good date! I admit that may be distasteful but I’m trying to make a point here.

Online Dating Strategies

Massaging and leaving your online dating profile as vague as possible to cast a wider net is possibly the worst strategy and mentality for online dating. The goal is for your profile to be attractive enough to deliver at least a 10% conversion rate and allow you to discontinue the site within two weeks or so. After two weeks, not only do you see the same people over and over again with 1 or 2 new additions a day depending on the size of your city, but you also start to look desperate and your reasons for online dating start to make less sense. Think about it.

Here are 4 Tips to laser focus your profile and capture the most tantalizing and compatible candidates.

Before Your Profile: Even before filling out a profile, you must know exactly what ship you want…friendship or a relationship…this will determine how specific your profile should be. There’s no reason for you to update your profile a million times. Check out the competition and devise your differentiation strategy before writing.

Write Your Profile:

Now that you know what you want, introduce yourself, your activities and a few of your passions. Write exactly what you want and then add your differentiation strategy. Your profile is not a resume! It’s a bit useless to leave it blank even on Swipe Right and no one has an hour to go through several paragraphs. Be as brief and as persuasive as possible, but most importantly, DO NOT LIE!

Strategic Pictures:

Do not, I repeat, do not use your best pictures or pictures that are false representations of your current physical appearance. Not only is it a form of lying and evidence of low self-esteem, it is also scientifically proven that it will work against you! You will fail terribly to live up to physical expectations when you finally come face to face with a promising candidate. The most successful ones are those that use causal photos and even bad or modest photos. Because if you’re able to capture someone’s attention with average pictures, you know they’re interested in more than just your looks and they’ll be pleasantly surprised once they meet you in person thereby ballooning your chances of a second date!

Strategic Messages:

Your messages must be brief, persuasive, convey comfort but most importantly, encourage her to click on your profile. Fact is, there are a lot more men than women on every dating site and the women, especially the most promising ones, are constantly bombarded with all sorts of vulgarity and sexual requests making it extremely difficult for them to sort through the garbage to find meaningful candidates. If you’re a guy, other guys have already ruined it for you so you must stand out and avoid any words, phrases or sentences that would hint that you’re interested in sex… even if you are!

Also make sure you strategically convey that you actually read the person’s profile rather than just glancing at pictures and firing messages (do take them time and read the profile…it’s embarrassing to ask questions that have been answered.) Lastly, give him or her a call to action. One of my favorites is, “please take a look at my profile and let me know if you care for a chat.” Please don’t be awkward and desperate…if there’s no reply, move on!

Conversion Rates:

If you’re an average guy, your conversion rate should be around 10%. For every 100 ladies you message, 50 of them should be replying and of those 50, at least 20% or 10 of them should want to meet you. Out of those 10 that want to meet you, you should be able to pick 1 strong candidate. And for every 100 women that view your profile, at least 10% of them should be messaging you. If your conversion rate is not at least 10%, something is definitely wrong with your profile because there’s something out there for everyone! Literally!

Good luck fishing, be careful of all the creeps and questionable characters online and stay away from Plenty of Fish…more like Plenty of Cat Fish, squids, and crayfish!

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