It’s not always easy to freely share your feelings but it can be quite liberating…I am in desperate need of liberation so I share my feelings without revision as I’m not quite sure how to explain this never-ending struggle!
I have tried and terribly hard too to belong… but no matter how much I try, I fail miserably to belong anywhere or within any group… It burns a devastating hole through me…”You are destined for greatness” they say… Even a great man, whom I admire and envy so much, recently told me that I was destined for a life of loneliness but that loneliness is necessary to cultivate my passion and assure my success… I say greatness is overrated and the price is proving to be quite steep…
Nothing interests me anymore…No one interests me… I have been so fortunate and blessed to have had relationships and friendships with some of the most incredible people planet earth has to offer but they’ve become impossible to replace or even substitute… People bore me so easily and so quickly…I make friends one day only to completely ignore and abandon them the following day… I lose interest within seconds… Conversations have become empty, bland, pointless, selfish and worthless… I have a thirst that’s impossible to quench… I’ve tried everything and yet, that gaping hole remains… I’m desperately seeking but extremely blind because I have no idea what I’m looking for. Every second of everyday, I can’t help but fume internally because my silent questions are forever left unanswered.
How is it that the whole world believe me to be extremely friendly and outgoing and yet, I have managed to make not a single “friend” in the last 3 years…Climbing the ladder can be such a curse… It gets lonely at the “top.” The more successful I get, the lonelier I find myself because everybody wants something from you. I doubt I’m the only one who feels this way.
Even sleep refuses to visit me sometimes…Music is the only thing that comforts me.
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